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1.
you kinda caught me in never love again mode, sitting in the grass just watching it grow ~ I don’t know what to do, how to make it stop, so pop another bottle ‘fore you drop me off ~ you kinda caught me in never say goodbye mode, saying see ya later so we both know that we’ll go separate ways and come back again ~ living’s pretty hard but I have my friends
2.
it’s always just the moment when my mom asks me “how are you” that I just break down (cuz I’m not doing well) ~ and sometimes my friends surprise me when they ask “how can I help you? because I notice now that you’re not doing well” ~ they say “I think you have the guts to handle anything that life throws out ya ~ I will help you however I can ~ yeah sometimes I have shit to deal with, but everyone has shit to deal with ~ so I’ll be there for you long as I can”
3.
are we flirting or are you just really nice? ~ am I someone you think you could like like? ~ either way I’m okay with our friendship ~ but still it’d be chill if you wanted me ~ cuz I want you and I could kiss you right here and now if you wanted me to(o) ~ with all due respect, I’m your friend but I like like you
4.
I want to be inspired ~ I want to retire when I’m 30 or earlier if I can make enough money ~ I never want to apply for a job again ~ I want to be friends with all my ex-lovers ~ I want to spend all day under the covers ~ I want a studio in my garage where I can make arts and crafts for others ~ I wanna make stuff for others ~ I want to teach kids ~ I want to get them excited about writing and reading and being creative ~ I want to feel like I’m helping ~ I want to be needed ~ I want to meet friends of friends and then kiss them ~ I want to tell people I really miss them ~ I want to shout from a mountain ~ that I want these things and I’ll get them ~ yeah I want these things and I’ll get them ~ I want to figure out how to be happy ~ I want to hate myself less, want to be the best I can be (whatever that means) ~ contentment isn’t a pipe dream
5.
I'm sitting in my car in the parking lot of the grade school where I grew up because I'm terrified of my parents knowing I care about writing songs cuz then they'll expect things from me think of their investment in me ~ I want to be in a band really bad but I'm cripplingly afraid of performance so I text my friends already in bands asking if I can just play with them cuz they already have a place to play in I can sing pop punk covers with them ~ at the DIY show at the skate shop I fall in love with the girl from Docks with her Kurt Cobain cardigan making funny faces when she plays the riffs oh God I would kill to be that I guess I'll try to be that ~ oh yeah
6.
I’m listening to Amanda Palmer’s book on Audible ~ that’s the kind of shit I can do now that I work full-time ~ feel like I’m walking a thin line between introversion and voluntary hermitage ~ but between my commute and allergies, I’m way too tired to share my time with another ~ I can only hope you understand ~ yeah it’s hard for me to make new friends, let alone lovers ~ but I’m pretty happy where I am under the covers at the end of a long day of doing what I love getting paid to print a lot of stuff ~ so I’m sorry if I bail on our already postponed plans ~ yeah I’m sorry to reschedule our chance to finally hang out in the dark ~ but I’ve known you for a few years now so I think it can wait
7.
lately my love life has been like trying to tune a mandolin ~ just when I thought it got good, it got fucked up again ~ but now it sounds alright to me ~ I’m sick and tired of saying sorry for my love ~ you don’t want or need me to apologize ~ but I will say sorry if I hurt you, I wanna respect you ~ I wanna love you and I wanna do it right ~ cuz you are like an outdoor couch: just what I need at the time ~ and ain’t that all I can ask for in this rapidly passing life? ~ yeah you’re like an outdoor couch: so comfortable to me ~ why don’t we sit around and just enjoy the breeze? ~ finally I’m speechless, I’m done with nervous talkin ~ I can sit with you in silence and not be distracted while I’m driving ~ I just wanna look at you ~ is that the biggest crime? ~ I’ll try to keep my eyes on the road and you at the same time ~ cuz you are like a wooden chair that stands the test of time ~ the framework is so trusty and the details so refined ~ yeah you’re like a tabletop: supplying fun and games ~ the dungeon master of my heart ~ I hope you feel the same

about

These are tunes I started recording eight months ago as drafts to share with friends but then decided were tiny songs in their own right. They were all recorded on my iPhone in Voice Memos. Here they are for posterity.

credits

released June 29, 2016

Thanks to every one of my creative friends who's inspired me to sing silly, cute things about our lives.

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Melissa Schiller & the Baker-Miller Pinks Davis, California

Melissa Schiller & the Baker-Miller Pinks play indie folk-infused pop punk to make you feel like calling your mom or drunk-texting your crush.

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